A Study into the Woman behind the Power
by cmguysgirl
Summary: What motivates Erin Strauss and a look at her thoughts about Aaron Hotchner and the team (even though it doesn't specifically mention most of them) over the years. Inspired by their time on a certain bench. This also looks at David Rossi's influence on her professional life over the years and how close they are now personally.


**A Study Into the Woman Behind the Power**

Disclaimer: I don't own the show. If I did Strauss would be back and we would have some smoking Strossi scenes (A little Alliteration for you). We can always hope this happens in the Season 9 Finale since they talk about some sort of betrayal.

**A Study Into the Woman Behind the Power**

I've never really been the bad guy, although most people perceive me as such. I don't mind it, actually I encourage it, as I don't suffer fools lightly and if you cross me, you find that fact out in a hurry. Working for the FBI, and rising in the ranks is hard, doubly so, if you are a woman. Things have gotten better over the years, but make no mistake, it is still the 'Old Boys Club'.

While I may not be the bad guy, I have no problem putting the Agents under me through a Trial by Fire. I give my position nothing but the best of my ability and I expect anyone under me, to do the same.

Some, in making me out to be a villain, would point to my trying to blackmail Agent Prentiss when she first came to the team into spying on her Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner. I actually wanted to stand up and applaud Emily when she took the stance that she would rather quit than let herself be used in such a despicable manner but I couldn't as I had to see if she really meant that or was just paying lip service to get in good with the team. None of them ever wondered, at least not that I heard, why her resignation was never filed and I could reinstate her before we ever boarded the jet back to Quantico. But I can't really blame them for not being focused on that as I was just as relieved as they were that Aaron had decided to stay with the BAU. I couldn't admit this to him or anyone else at the time, as I was still testing him, but since the day he was promoted, he has been my best and most Conscientious Unit Chief.

That was the first time, I came close to having to let him leave the position. When his wife Haley was giving him such a hard time about being away from home so much and working such irregular hours, I tried to point him in the direction of White Collar Crimes.

Aaron, however, was under the mistaken impression at the time that I didn't like him. I can't really blame him as I had really been holding his feet to the flame at the time. I make no apology for that; He is my sword in the field; I had to ensure he was forged to withstand any challenge that might engage him and come out strong. Since he didn't trust me, when I suggested it, his first instinct was to disregard it as some sort of trick to derail his career. What he didn't know is that I understood what he was going through. My first marriage ended in divorce due to my husband's inability to accept the time I gave to the Bureau.

I was the first Female Agent in the BAU. Gideon, Ryan and Rossi get all the accolades of founding the BAU, but I got my ten seconds of fame, as a footnote in every Freshman Candidate's History of the FBI textbook and on the final exam they have to pass to become a full fledged Special Agent.

Granted the first three months, the guys tried to treat me like a glorified secretary but I made it painfully clear that I was nobody's Girl Friday and insisted they treat me with the respect I deserved, as a Fully Qualified Field Agent. Gideon thought he would humor me. Ryan tried to ignore me.

Surprisingly, Rossi, the womanizer of the group, was the only one who really gave me a chance. He told me that I should really think long and hard about whether or not I really wanted to live that kind of life. David said it wasn't that he didn't think I would make a good Profiler, as if he did, he would never have fought to bring me on the team. He told me that he would take me with him on his next case and show me what the life was really like and then he wanted me to take some time and really decide if it was for me.

Rossi reassured me that no matter what my decision, I was still welcome to stay with the BAU but if I decided I didn't want to work the field, and he thought that would be best for me, he would guarantee no one gave me any grief about changing my mind. David told me that he was sure I was going to call him a Chauvinist for his next statement, but he didn't believe that being in the field as a BAU Agent was a good fit for a female.

He knew I was about to blow so he held up a hand to keep me from interrupting with the reminder that I promised to hear him out until, he was completely finished and to keep and open mind.

He started out by saying that he felt that women could do most jobs in Law enforcement, just as well as their male counterparts. He went on to lay out why he felt that the BAU was an exception.

Rossi started out with saying that safety was his paramount concern. He first touched on the fact that you are all alone, tracking a heinous, often psychotic killer who is nine times out of ten a male and statistics have proven that most average males are stronger than most average females.

He then went on to state that quite a few of the people they track are Serial Rapist and a lone female pursuing the Unsub would be giving him another potential victim as the majority of the people they arrest for rape only target females.

Next he listed the fact that some of the areas they travel through by car are long stretches of deserted roads. If you break down you are stuck on the side of the road until help comes along or you have to hike through the area until you come to some place with a phone you can use. Again in most cases, a potential predator is more likely to go after a lone female than a lone male as most are egotistical pricks, that figure a female would be easier to overpower. He concluded by reminding me that even the associates of the suspects are often not the most upstanding citizens and have very little respect for women. Like it or not, most of them wouldn't take you seriously enough to talk to you.

I thanked him for his honesty and told him I would take all of what he said under advisement but, it wasn't going to change my mind as I took the job as a BAU field Agent and I don't do anything by half measure.

David made me promise to take the weekend and really think about all the pros and cons of the situation and if in my heart I truly felt this was for me, he would mentor me in the field. Before he left for the evening, he stopped at my desk and told me, if I choose to go through with it, to make sure I arrived Monday morning with my 'Go Bag' packed and ready to go. He then handed me a list of some of the things he felt were essential to a 'Go Bag' and included an addendum to it with a list of "female items" that I might want to make sure I brought with me, as it wasn't always convenient to stop to the store when the unsub was crisscrossing the country.

Monday morning, I showed up raring to go and we caught a case that same afternoon. True to his word, Rossi took me with him without even trying to wiggle out of it.

He was a surprisingly patient instructor. Rossi never held back when it came to teaching me something he felt would make me a more competent agent - when I began to work the field alone. Yet he was not condescending enough to give me all the answers, preferring to let me figure out some things on my own, make mistakes in reasoning- while there was someone still there to gently correct me. If I was on the wrong track, he would lead me to the right line of thinking, then step back allowing me to draw my own conclusions.

After each case was over, he'd sit down with me and go over my progress, along with what I was doing right and what he thought I could do better before suggesting how he thought would be best for me to make that improvement.

I learned more in that six months than at any other time in my career. David Rossi was a fair but firm taskmaster, with a dedication to the job that rivaled mine. I used the skills he taught me for the next three years and had an extremely impressive solve rate that began to catch the attention of the higher echelon of the FBI putting me on the list of rising stars to watch.

Yet things at home began to crumble as my husband began to demand that I spend more time at home with him and complain that I wasn't fulfilling my duties as a wife. In actuality, he wanted a trophy wife to help him on the fast track at his company. His boss was big on being a family man and questions started to arise about why he never brought his wife to company events.

I had lost my first husband and Aaron had lost Haley due to our inability/refusal to live up to the image they had of what a spouse should do. It was a sad connection that Aaron had no ideal we shared at the time.

Lucky for my ex husband, my career with the FBI, only resulted in our divorce. Unfortunately for Aaron's ex wife Haley, fate wasn't so kind when it completely severed her connection to the Bureau.

When George Foyet killed Haley Hotchner, I knew I would be loosing Aaron Hotchner as my Unit Chief for good. This was different than when he was thinking about leaving the BAU to appease his wife. It is a little known secret anyone who survives more than a year with a BAU team, finds it almost impossible to walk away. It gets in your blood and you feel like it is a part of you and that is what you are destined to do.

Not to sound Sacrilegious but, it is almost like you are Ordained by God to fight the evil in this world. I really believe, that is what protects my agents when they survive situations that the ER Doctors shake their heads and swear by all rights the affected agent should not have survived.

I've spent too many hours sequestered in my office, crying, gnashing my teeth and praying over the fate of one of my agents, who has been brought into the ER at death's door, not going to the hospital at that time as it would give those observing too much insight into how deeply I do care about those under me, ruining the image I work hard to convey, of a woman who rules with an iron fist (so the higher ups will leave me to do my job without too much interference as the 'Old Boys Club' still feels women are too emotional to do the job) not to know that some of those agents survival has been nothing short of miraculous.

When Foyet attacked Agent Hotchner the first time, with the amount of damage he did, truth be told, none of us thought he would ever again, be strong enough physically or mentally to return to the field. Yet the stubborn, obstinate Aaron Hotchner was determined to get back, not just to his beloved BAU but back to his position as a fully functioning field agent. Lucky for us, that burning desire the BAU instills in your blood, was stronger that any damage George Foyet and his knife could do.

But Foyet wasn't done and his final act of vile revenge succeeded in doing what nothing else could. It made Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner feel that leaving the BAU, his team, was the right thing to do.

It was with a heavy heart, that I went to see him that day at his apartment. I knew that the BAU had lost it's most effective and efficient Unit Chief for good. He was a single parent now and one thing anyone who has ever seen him with his son can tell you, is that he has from the moment of his birth, been dedicated to little Jack. That is why I was surprised when I didn't walk out with his Retirement papers signed when I left his apartment. We both knew, even if he wasn't willing to acknowledge it at the time, that the offer was not a typical agency deal. Aaron had been with the Bureau for quite a few years but he didn't have in enough years of service to retire with full benefits. David Rossi and I logged quite a bit of phone hours in our quest to persuade the Powers That Be to grant this special request.

It had all been David's ideal. While we both hated the fact that we knew that Aaron would now have no choice but to leave the BAU, we were both quite upset at the fact we felt so helpless in the situation. I don't think anyone, no matter how hard their heart is purported to be, could have seen the complete devastation that oozed from Aaron Hotchner's pores over being too late to save Haley, almost losing Jack to the same Maniac, coupled with the guilt of knowing his Job and decision to do the right thing had led to this crippling blow to his family and not have their heart bleed for him and his son.

It was one night, when David and I were huddled together on the sofa at his home, seeking and giving comfort, while desperately trying to find some reason for this senseless act, knowing that when it came to the heinousness of some killers, there is no rhyme or reason, that he came up with the ideal.

David was telling me how impotent he felt, knowing his best friend was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it, to help him and his son. He was telling me he knew 'Hotch' had some money saved up from his time as a Prosecutor and at the FBI as he had asked his advice on choosing a good Financial Adviser when he found out Haley was pregnant with Jack, but he wasn't sure if it would be enough to tide him over until he was ready to find another position, once he got Jack, settled.

I was a single parent myself for may years so I understood how difficult things can be, for a workaholic, raising a child by yourself. With that in mind, I was determined to do all that was within my power to make sure that Aaron and his son had everything they needed financially to help them, not just during their time of Bereavement, but until their lives could once again be on an even keel, if that was ever again possible - after suffering such a horrific tragedy.

Luckily for everyone, Haley's sister agreed to help Aaron by watching Jack when he was away for work. It was not just lucky for us at the office but I believe in my heart it was instrumental in helping Jack adjust to the fact of losing his mother as well as he did. Thanks to his sister in law, Aaron was able to establish a somewhat normal routine for himself and his son.

His return back to work, forced him to focus on other things and didn't allow him to wallow and lose himself in the depths of despair. Their BAU family, even though in their own way, devastated by the loss suffered by their boss and his son, were determined to show the two that life still had some goodness, happiness and that one day they would be able to find delight in it again. Slowly but surely, we began to see a light of happiness returning to Aaron Hotchner's eyes again, as slowly but surely he began to come in more often with tales of the things Jack had accomplished recently.

Aaron during all this, still perceived me as his enemy and I'll admit, with good reason. One of the many reasons, Agent Hotchner is so good at his job, is that he goes more on people's actions than their words. As much as I hated doing it, with the way Foyet died, I had to launch an in-depth inquiry immediately.

Rossi was furious at me for doing it before his friend (and boss) even had a chance to bury his late wife, but what David was not privy to, due to his being away from the office taking care of Aaron and his son, was the fact that the higher ups were rumbling about 'Agent Hotchner finally snapping and murdering the man who murdered his ex-wife in cold blood; the bad press that it was bringing to the agency and what would happen if the public perceived a cover up. In essence they were ready to hang Aaron Hotchner out to dry. He would have be labeled as an unstable, vigilante who used his badge to exact revenge for Foyet killing his ex and almost killing his son, who didn't even try to bring him in alive. They were still debating on whether or not to bring in Internal Affairs before or after they received a copy of the final determination from the Local Authorities and the US Marshall Service, who were involved due to the Late Mrs. Hotchner and their son being under the Witness Protection when Foyet killed her.

I had read the preliminary reports from the Local Authorities and I had held David while he broke down as he recounted the whole incident to me in private, too heartbroken for his best friend and his son to censor his retelling of the horrific events. Nothing in either account convinced me that Aaron did anything other than fight with all he had, to keep a mad man from slaughtering his son, the same way he did his son's mother. How anyone reading about the damage done to the room or the injuries that Foyet inflicted on Agent Hotchner during that fatal fight would be able to doubt that Agent Hotchner had killed George Foyet in anything except self-defense, was beyond me but, I knew that those who were already trying and convicting Aaron through rumor and innuendo behind the walls of the job were not interested in the truth of the matter just making sure that no 'stench' stuck to them.

When I launched my inquiry into the death of George Foyet so soon after Haley Hotchner's death, I knew David, Aaron and the rest of Alpha team were not going to thank me for it. In fact, I was worried about what it would do to my 'friendship' with Rossi, but it was the only way I could think of to save Aaron's job and maybe even his life. If the agency didn't stand behind him and clear him of all wrong doing through an unbiased and thorough inquiry, then things could go bad for him quickly and he might be subject to Criminal Prosecution. There was no way I was going to let an evil madman like Foyet, victimize a good man like Aaron Hotchner from beyond the grave.

I have had many ups and downs with Alpha team over the years. It has almost been like giving birth. It required a lot of hard work, pushing and sometimes indescribable pain but what resulted was a beautiful creation. Through all that we have been through together, we have we have developed a comfortable level of understanding and trust. Not that everything is always easy and smooth now; Not by a long shot, but I know that their actions are not as rogue and uninhibited as I painted them in the beginning, but the results of unselfish dedication to the job and victims, both innocent and not so innocent and they know that at the end of the day, I will do my best to ensure they have everything they need to do that job, including my support, even if I believe they have erred in their behavior and when the case is over, call them to the carpet for it.

The End

CMGUYSGIRL


End file.
